Dear Children,
I want you to know that I daily pray that I will have the patience that I need to show you Christ. I love you so very much.
But it's so hard when you aren't nice to each other, don't share, have grabby hands, yell when Bubbby is sleeping, make messes and leave them, leave the back door open so flies and heat can come in, get in Bubby's face when I trying to feed him, leave pee pee diapers sprinkled around the house, tell fibs, scream and have nuclear meltdown in public and at home, and refusing to obey.
Let's be honest, every parent can make a list of things that push their buttons. Someday, your kiddos will do the same and you will call me to vent or perhaps ask for wisdom. I do with my mom, your GramE. So, here is what I have to focus on every day.
1) You are gifts from God. You are not "my" possessions, but on loan from the most creative, awe inspiring, loving God. He knows exactly what I need and so you are exactly what I need. You are the perfect fit for our home. I am adopted, but still the perfect fit for my home growing up. Family is what you make it, not just by birth. I am beyond thankful for you three!
2) We are human. That means that we are like Adam and Eve, sinners. I will disappoint you. You will disappoint me. It's as simple as that. I will ask for your forgiveness and I will seek God's strength to change the area of my character that is not in accordance with Him. I may mess up again, but please remember that I am trying. I am giving it my all! I will give you the same grace and mercy. I love the song 7x70. That's how many times we should forgive each other. Besides, we will never have to forgive anyone as many times as God has forgiven us!
3) Don't look at it as tomorrow is a new day. Look at it as each moment is a new moment. A bad string of moments can be turned around with the right thought and the right attitude. Yep, it's hard if you're working and have kids, stay home and have kids, the ages of the kids (right now Bubby is 3 months, Sunshine is 2, and Cupcake 3), then there is the home to maintain, your husband (or wife) to build up and work with, and geez, I haven't even gotten to anything with yourself! There are moments I could close my eyes and fall over and the landing might not wake me! lol There are cups of coffee followed my Diet Dr. Pepper cans that just keep me floating. There are days that keeping you alive by taking care of your basic needs is a huge accomplishment. Though it sounds funny, in the moment, I am praying for each moment. I am in control. I am the thermostat and not the thermometer. I will set the "feel" of the home and not be run by others. Make up a game, go outside, take a drive, sporadic dance party, quiet time, pop popcorn and put on a movie, go for a walk, go to the park, bust out the paint, call me, come over and let me give you some time to regroup, ask for help from friends, call a friend to talk (even if your kids are yelling in the background), have a tea party, make a play-date, and pray, pray, pray. You will survive and the next moments will be better. Remember 7x70, don't hold over their heads choices. Let an I am sorry be that and move on. Again, give the same grace and mercy you want for yourself or every day will be so hard, long, and tiresome. You all deserve more and better :).
4) I think of all the things that make me love being a mother so much! I love snuggles, squeezies, smoochies, playing blocks, brushing your hair, holding hands, "petting" you, staring into your eyes, hanging up your artwork, how you love family, seeing you get so excited when you see me or your daddy, how you love my parents, how you get a juice for your sissy if you got one, how you sing to each other when one is upset, giggles, when you share colors, funny things you say, when you dress up, watching you do the things you love, shopping with you, dancing with you at our dance parties where ever they may break out, singing Amazing Grace, how thankful and excited you are when you get or see something new, how you pray for our food, how you are brave, how you use your manners with friends and teachers, how you are a leader and independent, how you like to try to do things on your own, how you love to be fashionistas, how excited you are to see each other and miss each other when apart, and so so much more!
These are some very good things to think about when you are having a tough time. Today I was googling if it's a full moon before 8 am! It is! In fact, it's a very rare blue moon. So, I'll be doing some deep breathing exercises, too. Having taught school for many years, I believe crazy kids happen on full moons. I don't know why. It does make me wonder if it makes parents crazy, too.
Ok, ran out of coffee and one of you is playing drums on a bucket right outside of the formerly sleeping Bubby's room.
I love you to Heaven and back,
Mommy
